Leaving an addiction is much like saying goodbye to a loved one, someone you love dearly. The process usually consists of elements of the grieving process: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They do not necessarily occur in this order and everyone experiences their process differently.
Like dealing with grief and loss, each addiction remission process is unique to the person going through it. With acceptance signaling a return to health. In the process, it is helpful to put your goodbye into words. You could then mail it to yourself, burn it, or place it in a time capsule somewhere safe and private. Keeping it confidential allows for a deeper honesty of your true emotional experience. Also, it avoids the typical social desirability factor, that tendency to say what you want others to hear. It isn’t about being accepted by others though, it’s about being accepted by yourself.
Dear Sweet Love,
I have just been through hell without you. For the past couple years you have been by my side, each day and each night. At first it was impossible to believe our dissolve. Then intense anger came into my soul. I knew it didn’t belong there, as evolving to the next level of love is what living life is all about. It is like the flower that starts as a seed, sprouts, and eventually blooms. I attempted to bargain with my creator, please allow a continued presence, I promise to be good. Things got dark, I was sad! My sweet love’s fragrance had to dissipate though, in time, for real love to take root.
Now I see, addiction isn’t love at all, it’s a form of slavery, a very unloving type of governance. Like love, it can be very enticing and cue the brain to fantasize and distort reality. That love-is-blind concept comes to mind. Once accepting it is gone, real love can blossom and bloom. Unlike addiction though, love never ends. It’s like a tree, under the right conditions, it lives forever.