Overcoming Obstacles

As David (the Big V) has mentioned many times during group, to overcome challenges or obstacles associated with early addiction remission, one must first, “get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Great concept: it nourishes resilience too and is a pre-requisite for mastering just about any talent or skill. According to Mr. Keller, author of “Infinite Recovery” addiction remission is a skill that can be learned by anyone. The final R in our ARMOR Program refers to Recognition, which essentially is about keeping a journal and making daily entries. Of course, the discipline required to do this daily is very demanding and tends to incite discomfort. It can start to feel oppressive, as initial failures tend to wear down motivation. Via perseverance though, it becomes a habit, and the entries seem to happen all on their own. The unhealthy cycles and patterns are identified and countered with replacements, during our intermediate phase of remission.

One of the biggest culprits instigating a lapse of relapse, according to Doc, is stress. Stress and discomfort are somewhat synonymous experiences. You stub your toe; the pain pulls you away from your comfort zone and distraction ensues. You get a memo that your project is due by day’s end; oh boy, not feeling very comfortable about the challenge of the expedited deadline. You’ve made a terrible mistake earlier in life; you nearly died from its associated guilt and shame. Years go by and a reminder pops up only to tear you back down into that muck and mire of guilt and shame: stress. Childhood trauma has devastated your trust in others; as you work and work on this, a new arrival manages to mimic associated experiences of that past event: stress. You’ve survived many years with an unhealthy form of self-medication – now an addiction disorder. How will I survive without it: equals stress.

A major challenge for our network has been to encourage the idea of Affirmation as a healing element extremely valuable in an addiction remission protocol. When designing the ARMOR Program, Doc, in search of a name, received a gift from his young daughter, Emily. He wanted a name that started with “A”, as he believed Affirmation critical to the healing process. Emily’s gift was a small sculptural knight. ARMOR (Affirmation, Ritualization, Modulation, Observation, and Recognition) was coined. The label is also an acronym for the Addiction Remission Model of Recovery and its five elements represent the major treatment factors identified from Doc’s research on self-help groups: spiritually based (12-step) and non-spiritually based CBT (SMART Recovery).

In the treatment arena, forming a trusting bond is understood to be essential. Our cohort of clients are extremely keen on discerning genuine from fake. With Affirmation we must allow ourselves to be moved emotionally by a client’s turbulence or they’ll simply remain guarded and listen to only what they wish to hear. When childhood abuse is involved there remains a constant fear your words will be used to exploit, manipulate, or control. Often, Doc has had to accompany clients to initial doctors’ appointments, psychiatrists included. Only after enough comfort and trust is established will some clients accept being alone with other providers. The slightest hint of judgement can instantly end further communications, what we call “guilt tripping” a common manipulation strategy. Reprimand and mandated treatment can often be too closely associated in their mind to earlier childhood abuse and bam you’re hit with regression, fear, shame, and that person in the fetal position bawling their eyes out.

Good news is that our Affirmation concept is being acknowledged more and more lately: acceptance, love, and respect gets their eyes and ears open and can open a window of opportunity to at least walk through the doors of a treatment facility. The key is to keep them alive long enough to get them to their window of opportunity. Thumbs up to Ms. Melanie Gilbert, recently wrote about our community’s NRU w/quote: “My intent as the commanding officer of this unit is never to have to arrest anybody under that city ordinance,” he said during a Hunger & Homeless Commission meeting Feb. 5. “We’re not a homeless or unhoused unit. But as police officers, we encounter people who are in need of assistance. We’re actually there to help them.”                                                                           Lowell CO-OP Brochure 03-2021

Thumbs up for Globe Staff: “But then something unexpected happened. A physician appeared by his bedside who, to his surprise, did not scold or lecture him about his drinking habit. Instead, in a gentle voice, she offered to prescribe him a medication, Vivitrol, to treat his cravings for alcohol and to get him set up on an outpatient treatment plan — all before he was discharged. Eighteen months later, Aoki has not touched a drop of alcohol — an achievement he largely credits to the bedside intervention. “It literally saved my life,” said Aoki, who is 37 and lives in Charlestown” (March 22, 2025, Chris Serres).  

Suggested Reading – “The Obstacle Is The Way” by Ryan Holiday

Quotes

“The greatest obstacles in life are often the ones we create in our own minds.” – Albert King 

“You have power over your mind – not outside events”.  – Marcus Aurelius

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela