Caring and loving are wonderful traits to exhibit toward a person with an addiction. Becoming consumed by this caring and loving dynamic, as with potential death of that loved one, is where dysfunction begins. Constant fear of losing your loved one to a heroin overdose produces excessive anxiety. Not knowing where they are or if they’re ok produces anxiety. Worrying how to react to their behaviors and demands, so as not to trigger their addiction, causes anxiety. You start walking on eggshells. This constant flooding of anxiety starts conditioning the brain. You seek relief, a phone call of re-assurance from your loved one helps. You start to depend on at least a phone call.
This incessant worry interferes with healthy cognitive functions. Then there is the chaos of an addiction lifestyle. It generates confusion and unpredictability, more uneasiness. The developing co-dependency searches for their next move, in order to counteract it with your next move. All your thoughts and behaviors become contingent on those of your loved one with addiction. Their addiction now governs you, not the same way it governs them, but similarly. You’ve become a co-dependent.