A common belief is that helping someone who doesn’t want to get clean or sober is fruitless, a waste of time. This is not so; such an individual is simply not intrinsically motivated to stop using heroin or drinking alcohol or whatever. There appears to be no inner reward for stopping their addiction. When this is the case, helping develop their intrinsic motivation needs to be the focus.
So, how do you help someone develop intrinsic motivation? You have to work on their core beliefs. A client didn’t want to stop using heroin. She was skinny as a rail, hadn’t eaten in weeks, and was surely about to die from either malnutrition or an overdose. One night, after working her hustle all day, she was all jammed up on the stuff. I asked her if she originally started to use heroin to have fun. She said, “yes.” I then said, “well it doesn’t look like you’re having very much fun anymore.” It was the first time I’d seen her smile; it was the start.